Nymphomaniac
by HUTCCCH
Summary: Stanley Marsh is a nymphomaniac. He's had blonds, he's had brunets, he's had every color under the sun. Except red. But the only redhead he knows is Kyle Broflovski, and Kyle is his best friend. His super best friend. Stan/Kyle, Stan/various.


**This story has _yaoi_. You don't like it? I don't really give a fuck. **

**Characters aren't mine. Thank Matt Stone and Trey Parker.**

**Also, Stan is a whore. Hehehe. **

**Contains Stan/Butters, Stan/Kenny, Stan/Bebe, Stan/Tweek, Stan/Wendy, Stan/Token, Stan/Craig, Stan/Cartman, Stan/Kyle. As I said. A whore.**

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Stanley Marsh is a nymphomaniac.

Stanley Marsh has a series of partners- and he wants to start off with his blonds.

He likes them each equally- just in different ways.

One of his blonds, Butters Scotch, is a real sweetheart. He's small and fidgety and nervous, with blond hair soft as dandelions and a love for Hello Kitty. Butters likes to take it slow- to pretend that Stan's not just there for sex, that Stan actually cares about him. It's pretending and nothing more, but whatever helps him sleep at night. As long as Stan gets his sex. It's slow and filled with fake caresses and empty words. Butters always ends up crying and he always, always asks Stan, "Is this just for the sex?" And Stan, always the honest one, deadpans, "Yes," rolls out of bed, pulls on his clothes and goes home.

His other blond, Kenny, is there for the same reason as Stan. Kenny is all arms and legs, a lanky, painfully thin teen who Stan considers to be one of his best friends. His blond hair is dark and hangs in a wild mess around his ears. When Stan and Kenny fuck, it's for carnal pleasure, and carnal pleasure alone. It's all nails and teeth and Stan leaves the other with a few bumps and bruises, but it's nothing Kenny's not used to. They lie together afterwards, share a fag or two accompanied by friendly laughs, before Stan pats Kenny on the back, rolls out of bed, pulls on his clothes and goes home.

Another blond is Stan's only blonde girl, and Stan goes to her as a last resort. Bebe is the town slut- he doesn't know what diseases she has, and he doesn't care. She's got a great rack, and that's all that matters. Her blonde hair is poofy and in the way, but Stan just brushes it back, because if he's with Bebe, he's horny. Bebe sees it as inevitable- Stan's hot, she's hot, why not have sex? It's passive and empty when they do, but as Stan sees it, Bebe's better than nothing. There's no lounging around afterwards- Stan finishes, cleans himself up, rolls out of bed, pulls on his clothes and goes home without another word.

No one really knows why Stan's last blond does it. Tweek Tweak is a fidgety, gangly teenage boy whose scared of his own shadow- so why he let Stan seduce him into bed is unknown to all. He's got this blond hair that sticks up in all directions, a result from the constant pulling it receives from Tweek's shaking hands. Stan feels guiltiest when he's with Tweek- Tweek tugs at his hair and moans in despair and is constantly on the verge of tears all the time, twitching violently against Stan as he does his business. The afterwards consists of Tweek screaming, ripping at his blond strands and dashing out of the room. Stan stares after him for a long moment, the guilt clawing at his chest, before he rolls out of bed, pulls on his clothes, and goes home, the sound of Tweek's retching in the bathroom dancing in his ears.

---

Stan's brunets are unexpected. Whenever they entangle in sweaty limbs, it's never planned.

Oh, and they hate each other.

Stan's first brunette is Wendy Testaburger, his ex-girlfriend and a constant annoyance. Stan tries his best to avoid Wendy- but she always manages to track him down, whine insistently at him, and when he's got boobs waving in his face, it's hard for him to say no. Wendy has long, beautiful black hair that spreads out around her head like a dark halo. It's her only redeeming quality- Stan likes to run his fingers through it when they fuck, and when Wendy gets too annoying, he grabs a fistful and gives it a forceful tug, and she quiets down. She drapes herself over him afterwards- she says they belong together and they should date. Stan shakes her off, flips her the bird and climbs off the bed. He clothes himself, rolls his eyes at her shrieks of "I hate you!" and shows himself out.

Token Black is Stan's next brunet. Stan hates Token. Token hates Stan. It's a stupid, mutual hate that stemmed out of their former competition for Wendy's affections, and even though Stan no longer likes Wendy, the animosity remains. Token is a ripped guy, with handsome, strong features, and short, black hair that Stan likes to pat, which just pisses off Token, who'll shove Stan against the wall. They're pretty rough when they fuck- but it gives Stan a twisted sense of amusement, because he always seems to top, which pisses off Token even more. When they're finished, they lay there, horrified at what they've done. Token rolls over on top of Stan to strangle him- Stan shakes him off, flips him the bird and climbs off the bed. He clothes himself, rolls his eyes as Token threatens to sue him, and shows himself out.

Stan isn't sure why he sleeps with his other brunet, Craig Tucker. Craig is about as responsive as a boulder, and Stan always feels like he's fucking a ragdoll when they do it. Craig's thin and lanky, and his eyes are as cold as ice. His skin is below average temperature and makes Stan shiver when he runs his fingertips over it. But he's got this hair. He's got this black hair that's like silk, and Stan likes to bury his face in it so that he won't have to look at Craig's blank stare. Stan runs into Craig, makes a snarky comment, and pushes Craig's middle-finger-wielding wrist to the nearest wall. He's not sure why he goes any furthur than that- but he does. Afterwards, Craig rolls over dully, always rolling on top of Stan- the only movement he would have made voluntarily in the last hour. Stan shakes him off, flips him the bird (which is dually returned) and climbs off the bed. He clothes himself, rolls his eyes as Craig continues to flip him off, and shows himself out.

The worst of all is Stan's last brunet. Eric Cartman. The fat fuck of a friend whose tried to kill and/or sabatoge Stan and his best friend at every chance he's given. The boy with too many rolls and a personality that would make Adolf Hitler wince. He's got a double chin and glaring eyes, and short, brown hair that Stan likes to tug at. Cartman always replies to this by calling Stan a bastard and shoving him roughly. Their sex is angry and rough, and Stan always ends up with more bruises and cuts that he would like to admit. Cartman lies on top of him afterwards, comments on how Stan's always wanted his hot bod, and laughs so his fat jiggles unpleasantly against Stan's bare chest. Stan shakes him off, flips him the bird ("'EY, BASTARD!") and climbs off the bed. He clothes himself, rolls his eyes as Cartman yells profanities at his back and shows himself out, vowing to never do this again. He always does.

---

There's only one hair color that Stan's never had, and that's red. Redredred, like strawberries and sunrays. There are only two redheads in town- that one girl, Rebecca or something, and Kyle Broflovski. Rebecca is worse than Bebe, and hates Stan more than Token. He's not sure why, but she does.

And Kyle Broflovski...well...Stan rationalizes with himself that he can't sleep with Kyle, because, well, Kyle is his best friend. Not just best friend, actually. Kyle is his super best friend.

When Stan isn't having sex, he's with Kyle. He knows that Kyle knows about his addiction, and he knows that Kyle doesn't approve. He feels an unpleasant twinge when he runs into Kyle when leaving Kenny's house- disheveled and exhausted. Kyle looks at him with those calculating green eyes, and Stan knows that he _knows_. He knows what Stan was doing, and Stan wishes he could read his expression, but he can't. Stan's not good with people, unless they're naked and in bed.

Kyle's got this mass of red, curly hair, and to Stan, it's better than his blonds and his brunets, and there's no question about that. Ever since Kyle had it cut in 8th grade, it's been curling around his head softly, framing his sharp face and poking out from under his still-present green ushanka. Stan wants to reach out and run his hands through those curls, to breathe in Kyle's soap-scented mass of hair, but he can't. It's because Kyle is his best friend, he rationalizes. His super best friend.

He's not sure why it's okay to sleep with everyone else, but not with Kyle. He thinks it would make things awkward.

But it's a rainy day one day, and Stan is outside with Kyle, kicking at puddles while Kyle rants about Cartman's latest escapade. Kyle flings his boot-covered foot at the water and sends it flying and Stan tactfully dodges out of the way, laughing. But Kyle isn't laughing. In fact, he's got his head buried in his hands, and his shoulders are shaking. Not in the rhythmic, I'm laughing so hard that no sound is coming out way, but in the erratic, I'm sobbing so hard that no sound is coming out way.

Stan approaches him carefully and puts a hand on the shaking shoulder, which melts immediately upon contact. Kyle folds nicely into Stan's arms, and buries his face into the hollow of Stan's neck. Stan pulls off Kyle's ushanka with one hand and holds him tightly with the other. He buries his face into the head of soaked red-curls and finally, finally breathes in. They smell like barsoap and rain and Stan loves it.

After a few minutes, the spasms that rock Kyle's body die away and he finally pulls away a bit from Stan to look into his face. Stan stares back into those calculating, green eyes, and wishes he could read his expression, but he can't. There's a long moment, with Stan staring at Kyle and Kyle staring at Stan, before Kyle tentatively stands on his tippy-toes and presses his lips carefully to Stan's. Stan does nothing, because Kyle is his best friend. Kyle pulls back when Stan is still, looks with darting eyes into Stan's gaze, and for once Stan can tell what his expression is. It's desperate and confused and regretful, and then it's gone as Kyle pulls away, turns on his heel and runs.

Stan stands there, letting the rain wash over his hair, and cries.

---

Stan doesn't sleep with anyone for a long time. He gets offers right and left, but turns them down each time. He doesn't see Kyle for a long time. He picks up the phone and tries to call, but always gets the urge to puke and hangs up before he even dials the number.

He's sitting on his front porch and hangs up his phone. That had been Butters- stuttering out an offer for Stan to come over and to *coughcough* play Hello Kitty Island Adventure. Stan politely refused and crushed the nagging guilt when Butters said goodbye in a shaky, tremor of a voice. He's sitting there, head in hands, when he hears the sound of boots shuffling towards him. He doesn't move. He doesn't want to sleep with anyone. He's done with sex.

There's an awkward pause before a throat clears and Stan lifts his head with a great effort, and when he does, he just stares. Kyle is standing there, hands shoved in his pockets and looking awkward. He's not wearing his hat, and his curls are dancing in the gentle breeze. Stan wonders if they smell like barsoap and leaves.

Kyle opens his mouth to say something, but promptly closes it. Stan just stares and watches Kyle's curls. Kyle begins to look annoyed, and when Stan still doesn't answer, spits out something Stan doesn't catch and begins to march away, muttering to himself.

Kyle is his best friend. Kyle is his super best friend. But that doesn't matter.

Stan bolts to his feet and sprints after the redhead, grabbing his shoulder and spinning him around. Kyle looks pissed, with some snarky comment on his lips that's snatched away because Stan is kissing him, and hard.

Kyle looks lost for a moment, but slowly, slowly smiles against the kiss, works in a "stupid" and throws his arms around Stan's neck.

---

Stan feels better than he has in...well, in forever. He hasn't slept with Butters, Kenny, Bebe or Tweek in months. He hasn't touched Wendy, Token, Craig or Cartman in the same amount of time. Not a single of his blonds or brunets has been in his bed, nor has he been in theirs. When Stan wakes up, there's a flash of red before curls come into his view. Kyle nuzzles his head into the pillow cutely, before he opens his eyes. They're calculating and green and are shining at him. Stan grins and pecks at Kyle's lips.

They lay there in silence for a while, staring at each other. Stan and Kyle, Kyle and Stan. Stan is happy. Kyle looks happy, but then, then the brightness fades from his eyes, as if he's just realized something awful. He doesn't look happy anymore. Stan is no longer happy.

"What is it?" Stan asks. He's afraid of the answer.

Kyle says nothing. He lays there and continues to look worried. Stan rolls over on top of him, matching his expression of distress.

"What is it?" Stan repeats.

Kyle shakes him off, rolls out of bed and stands there. He stands there, before slowly and painfully making out, "Is this for the sex?"

Stan stares at him, dumbfounded. "What?"

"Is this all just for the sex?" Kyle repeats. He looks angry now, because he didn't receive an answer the first time. He begins to pull on his clothes. Stan is still dumbfounded, and is silent.

Kyle is furious. He rolls his eyes, flips Stan off and turns to leave, go home, show himself out. Stan leaps to his feet, feeling a sense of alarm he's never felt before. Kyle stops at the sound of his footsteps, whirls around to tell him off like the snappy little redhead he is, but Stan silences him with a kiss. Kyle opens his mouth to tell him off again when Stan pulls away, but the brunet makes him fall silent when he presses a tender kiss to Kyle's forehead, stares directly into his eyes and says, "Hell no."

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